You wake up. Squint at the clock. Seven o’clock. Is that possible?
No, wait. Spring ahead. Was this clock sprung before bed?
Yes, because it’s in the bedroom. Or that was your thought last night, anyway. So six o’clock, really. And you went to bed at 11. No, make that 10. Which means you slept a total of… oh, forget about it.
Downstairs to make the Sunday morning coffee. Seems brighter than usual. Or maybe that’s just bright reflecting off the forward-March snow.
Where the hell’s the atomic clock? Or the cable box. The internet will do, too. Big Brothers, all. They have our times, all right. More than we know.
Let the spring rituals begin: Fix the clock on the microwave (quick time). Fix the clock on the stove (hot times). Where else? There’s got to be a rogue clock somewhere, holding its Eastern Standard Time hostage on the principle of it all. Maybe you’ll leave it — the revolutionary in you giving tacit sympathy to its cause.
Who invented Daylights Savings, anyhow? Why are we subjected to these insignificantly significant jolts to our inner circadian rhythms twice a year? Fall bleeping back. Spring bleeping ahead. Late to this appointment. Early to that one.
You don’t want to think about it too much, because the answer is Congressmen. Lord. Politicians! Playing politics with clocks based on their “studies” which, you’ve learned, have to be studied themselves because they’re seldom if ever true.
And this evening, the outside will look strangely different, too. All because of political hubris. All because of men playing god. The Greeks knew a thing or two about the folly of mortals getting uppity. After all, didn’t they invent the word hubris?
Case closed. Eyes closed. You need a nap. Too much thinking for today, especially considering you were robbed of an hour while you slept.
So go ahead. Dream a little. Of clock-less rooms. Of time-less worlds. Of lands where no man can wear his wealth on his wrist and call it an expensive watch. Time will take care of itself. And it will never fall or spring. It will just bide with a little smirk on its lips….